20. What Do You Call a Pig's Best Karate Move? (pork chops)

My memories of eating pork growing up are restricted to thinly-sliced boneless chops cooked at least 10 minutes per side in garlic butter, rendered grey and black and brown and nearly indigestible. Eyes bleary with pan-smoke we chewed and chewed until our respective salivas rehydrated the once-vibrant pig*. Normally a more than capable cook when charged to create a meal with ground, sliced or diced meat, Ma sometimes erred on the side of leather when confronted with a slab. For years I assumed this meant I disliked pork in all non-cured incarnations, but as it turns out, a little brine and a little breading does much to supplement Ma's not-always-edible but always appreciated secret ingredient: love. 

With this recipe as a guide (have you noticed I like her?) I managed to whip up a moist-on-the-inside, crispy-on-the-outside set of chops with smashed** potatoes, onion-apple relish and salad in a half hour flat.  

Here's my quick method for the whole meal:

- Place pork chops in salted water. Heat oven to 425 degrees. Set a medium pot of water to boil. 

- Procure 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs (I pulsed a dinner roll in a food processor to panko consistency) and add salt, pepper and thyme to taste. Spread on a baking sheet and shove in the oven while it heats. 

- Slice one apple and 1/4 of an onion. 

- When breadcrumb mixture is toasted, remove pork from brine and dip into flour, then egg, then breadcrumbs. Place on baking sheet in oven for 18-20 minutes. Add baby potatoes (or 1-2 inch potato chunks) and two garlic cloves to now-boiling water. 

- Melt salted butter in a pan and add onion and apple. Get some colour on them if you can, then add 1/2 teaspoon of honey. Deglaze with water and simmer until it cooks down. 

- Whisk 1/2 lemon's worth of juice into a tablespoon of olive oil and whatever else you want in your salad. Flip pork chops. 

- Check potatoes for doneness. Drain then add butter and salt to taste, placing back on hot burner. Gently smash potatoes with back of spoon and roll around in the melted butter. 

- Remove pork, mix greens with vinaigrette, and plate with apples and potatoes. 

30 minute meal. Suck it, Rachael Ray***.

* Oink

** 

*** I don't actually have a problem with Rachael Ray except that her show is intolerable.